Sex is Dating; Dating is Sex

Preface: I realized after I finished writing this article that it's rather brutal. I wanted to say a few words regarding my article below. To start out, my intention is not to make anyone feel guilty or to upset anyone. My intention is to bring a traditional, honest and different way of thinking to the table. This is simply a place for me to put my scrambled thoughts and feelings into words. This specific article isn't meant to be Theologic, however, I'd consider it having a moral depth. That having been said, thank you for reading.

In XC,
Michael


SEX IS DATING; DATING IS SEX
As an Orthodox Christian I was always taught sex before marriage, or rather, sex out of wedlock is a sin. Never have I heard otherwise and never do I think I'll hear otherwise... at least in Orthodoxy. Unfortunately though, sex out of wedlock seems to be preached against only by our Orthodoxy clergy (Patriarchs, Archbishops, Metropolitans, Bishops, Priests, Deacons and monastics). More and more I've been shocked by hearing laity condoning such things as premarital sex, homosexuality and abortion (we'll stick to sex for today).

So I ask myself, "Why is this?" My only conclusion is simply that these people are:
1) Out of the loop of Orthodox theology and teachings
OR
2) Personal opinion trumps Gods word.

I bring this up because I was just talking with a friend of mine about his love life....which is currently non-existant. He constantly talks about women and how sexy they are. He frequently mentions how badly he wants to Dance the Matrimonial Polka with girl A through Z, as well as some other typical man things. Well, we got to talking and I brought to his attention how he always finds flaws in the girls he likes. While it's good to see the good and the bad traits, he only seems to focus on the bad. And since he only focuses on the bad, at age 21, he's never been in a relationship. However, in the midst of all this, he said something rather profound as well as completely irritating. 

He said, and I quote: "I don't want to date a girl unless I'm gonna marry her."

Okay, I know what you're thinking. "How does that irritate you, KentBoy?" 

Please, audience, allow me to explain. 

First off, let me be clear that it's perfectly okay not to date around. It's also perfectly okay to hope to date the girl you want to marry. However, like I mentioned earlier, this friend of mine, quite frankly, enjoys Sexercizing with different girls on a weekly basis. It doesn't make him a bad person, and I'm not judging him. It's just rather annoying that such a big fuss is made about dating girls, but he has no problem Dancing the Mattress Jig with any girl who puts out. 

It's no secret that sex no longer has the sacredness, spiritual passion and emotional drive it once did. The public loves sex, pornography and that one scene in Titanic which gave most boys (now men my age) their first ever visual of a naked woman. One night stands are popular. Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Arnold Swarchenegger, Jesse James and Sean Penn have a common trait... and no, it's not their fame and fortune. They all cheated on their wives. College students spend their days in class and their nights partying... which includes gratuitous amounts of alcohol, vulgarity and hooking up with whoever they can get their hands on.

Don't get me wrong, I realize not everybody cheats, not everybody is addicted to porn or that all college students are promiscuous. I also realize the Titanic scene no longer gives most boys their first glance. My point is that sex is everywhere, whether we like it or not. And because sex is everywhere, our hearts and minds have become softened and subconsciously accepting of things which weren't acceptable before. Being honest, I'm more likely to hear about a woman's boobs than about her personality or her eyes. And I'm also more likely to hear about how big a guy is than about how nice he is. 

For me, when it comes to being a virgin, I find myself in the minority...at least as a college student. It gets interesting because people don't seem to believe me when I say I'm a virgin. In fact, people are dumbfounded that I consciously hold on to my v-card. It's like everyone thinks everyone should be having sex. People telling me that I should do it because everyone else my age is doing it. Really? The herd instinct? So if every other college student sticks a gun in their mouth and pulls the trigger, I should do it too? Hmm... 

I'll be honest though, I suffer dramatically with the urge. You virgins know what I'm talking about...THE URGE! We all have it... and it's a struggle to control. Yeah, I still got the v-card. But you've gotta be off your freaking rocker to think I don't want to... you know. 

At the end of the day I'm just dumbfounded how one can justify saying, "I don't want to date someone unless I can marry them." Because, in comparison to sex, I would think dating isn't as big of a deal. I'd be more inclined to take a girl on a date than to sleep with her. Maybe I'm just old fashioned? 

By no means am I saying people don't have the freedom to have sex. We live in a world of free will where people have the freedom to do whatever they want. But for someone who labels himself a Christian, where's the line drawn? I realize being promiscuous is a conscience and intentional decision by the majority of (unmarried) sexually active people. Often, there's a total lack of care (especially in high school and college students) when it comes to sex. I saw a post on facebook that said, "We live in a world where losing ones cellphone is worse than losing ones virginity." And it couldn't be anymore true. How pathetic is that?

Regardless, I don't judge or condemn anyone who has had sex or is sexually active out of wedlock. That's not how I roll.

The way I see it, sex is the ultimate gift from God. The ability for a man and a woman to truly become one. It's like the final "I do" commitment between a (married) man and woman where, not only are they mentally and spiritually one, but now, physically one. It's the ultimate connection and the ultimate way to give someone pure love. How absolutely beautiful! Glory to God!