Touching base

I've been away from the blog for a while. Mostly due to my lack of inspiration to write. For a while I found myself preaching, rather than teaching. I suppose the two can go hand in hand...but I shouldn't be acting like a preacher or theologian. The fact is, I'm not. 

I was sitting in my dimly lit living room last night and started reflecting on the struggles I face in my personal life, public life and spiritual life. I began to get emotionally upset at how spiritually weak I truly am. It made me happy to remember that the next morning I'd be at a monastery where I could pray and seek council from a beloved friend of mine who lives there. 

As I was sitting on the couch, I started thinking of all the things that pull me away from God, and how I can change the direction I'm being pulled in. Right off the bat I came to the understanding that I don't have the fear of God that I should have. Not fear as in being afraid of God. But fear as in, keeping in mind that I live with the obligation to either follow Him or to not follow Him. And based on the decisions I make, will dictate whether or not I'm made worthy of eternal paradise and happiness. 

Even while sitting here writing, I'm not sure where I am in my spiritual life. I feel as though my life has become too pointless with not being as focused as I should be. I tend to get prideful of myself at times and not leave room for prayer and fasting. Sometimes I feel as though 'busy' is just an excuse for not doing what I should be doing (whether it's praying, studying, cleaning). Realistically I need to take a break from busy and give some attention to something called Focus.

As many of you probably know, I'm a very active facebooker. Always posting about one thing or another. Often, mentioning extremely controversial topics... which tend to offend people. I spend lots of time doing that, but not with the intentions of hurting people or causing awkwardness or hard feelings. Unfortunately I tend to thrive off of discussion and debate. Usually my discussion and debate is what gives me fuel for this blog. Not to say I don't have fuel now, but I don't want to be exhaustive of certain things. 

I'm hoping to be back in full force sometime soon. I'll try to get at least one post every week or so. Please keep in touch, pray for me and share this site with your mature family and friends. 

As Christmas approaches, be mindful of all the wonderful things you have. Give your family and friends the love they need. And be sure to center your attention to the most important part of Christmas; the Birth of the Christ-child, the coming of the Messiah. 

Christ is Born! Glorify Him. 

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